Improving both spoken and non-verbal assertiveness skills are an important portion of any assertiveness training program. Assertive communication involves conveying your opinions, thoughts and emotions openly, while being considerate of other folks at the same time.
Often, we have a tendency to either be too passive in the way that we interact withothers (i.e. not asserting our feelings in any way) or go too far the other way by becoming too aggressive (i.e. expressing our feelings rudely and without thinking about others). Assertive communication is focused on achieving a comfortable middle ground between expressing ourselves and being accommodating towards other people's emotions.
Increasing Spoken Assertiveness Skills
To begin with, what you have to do is to determine whether you have a tendency to express yourself passively or aggressively. If you're a passive communicator, the first step is clearly to voice out the things that you really want to say. The trick is to make it short and be straightforward concerning the point that you want to communicate.
On the other hand, if you tend to be an aggressive communicator you'll need to pay attention to becoming sensitive towards other people's feelings when you express yourself. It would even be a good exercise to ask for sincere remarks regarding your communication abilities from the people around you.
This is what you need to be targeting in terms of verbal assertiveness skills:
- Ensure that your voice is firm but at ease
- Don't rush your words and use a balanced tone
- Make sure your statements are "I" centered, for example, "I need you to " instead of "You should "
- While providing criticism, highlight the offence and how it makes you feel without attacking the person who made it happen
- When you're coming to a decision, ask for other folk's ideas and keep an open mind to their recommendations
- Make it obvious that you're looking for a win-win solution
Enhancing Non-Verbal Assertiveness Skills
To guarantee the success of your assertive communication, it is advisable to back up the spoken aspect with congruent non-verbal communication as well. Otherwise, you'll be sending confusing signals to people you're communicating with.
Here are some tips to ensure congruency between your verbal and non-verbal communication:
- Preserve eye contact in a non-threatening way
- Posture your body to face the person you are speaking with
- Suitable facial expressions, e.g., smiling when you are happy and frowning when you are disappointed
Obviously, you won't be able to just do a course and learn every one of these spoken and non-verbal assertiveness techniques overnight. It takes practice, and the easiest way to learn these freshly acquired skills is with the help of the proper assertiveness training exercises.
Often, we have a tendency to either be too passive in the way that we interact withothers (i.e. not asserting our feelings in any way) or go too far the other way by becoming too aggressive (i.e. expressing our feelings rudely and without thinking about others). Assertive communication is focused on achieving a comfortable middle ground between expressing ourselves and being accommodating towards other people's emotions.
Increasing Spoken Assertiveness Skills
To begin with, what you have to do is to determine whether you have a tendency to express yourself passively or aggressively. If you're a passive communicator, the first step is clearly to voice out the things that you really want to say. The trick is to make it short and be straightforward concerning the point that you want to communicate.
On the other hand, if you tend to be an aggressive communicator you'll need to pay attention to becoming sensitive towards other people's feelings when you express yourself. It would even be a good exercise to ask for sincere remarks regarding your communication abilities from the people around you.
This is what you need to be targeting in terms of verbal assertiveness skills:
- Ensure that your voice is firm but at ease
- Don't rush your words and use a balanced tone
- Make sure your statements are "I" centered, for example, "I need you to " instead of "You should "
- While providing criticism, highlight the offence and how it makes you feel without attacking the person who made it happen
- When you're coming to a decision, ask for other folk's ideas and keep an open mind to their recommendations
- Make it obvious that you're looking for a win-win solution
Enhancing Non-Verbal Assertiveness Skills
To guarantee the success of your assertive communication, it is advisable to back up the spoken aspect with congruent non-verbal communication as well. Otherwise, you'll be sending confusing signals to people you're communicating with.
Here are some tips to ensure congruency between your verbal and non-verbal communication:
- Preserve eye contact in a non-threatening way
- Posture your body to face the person you are speaking with
- Suitable facial expressions, e.g., smiling when you are happy and frowning when you are disappointed
Obviously, you won't be able to just do a course and learn every one of these spoken and non-verbal assertiveness techniques overnight. It takes practice, and the easiest way to learn these freshly acquired skills is with the help of the proper assertiveness training exercises.
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