In thinking about what it's like to live in China, one cannot disregard the influence that relationships will have on your stay there. The better you are at making and keeping friends, the more enjoyable your stay will be. While this may seem simple if you have already achieved some measure of success in relationships in your current culture, it does not necessarily translate to success in Chinese culture.
In figuring out what's the best way to make friendships in China, let's take a look at some essential principles. Some will be universal, while others will be specific to Chinese culture. As you take note of these, it will help you to find the best way to developing strong friendships while abroad.
How to Get Started
Friendliness, deference to the other person, and time commitment are key universal principles. Beginning with politeness and a warm smile can go a long way. Then, as the conversation continues, focus on the other person and how you can ask questions that will help them share their life story. Last, decide how much time and effort you are willing to devote to the relationship and take action to schedule the next time you will meet.
How to Train Your Ear
At first, several elements of Chinese culture will be hidden, but over time you will begin to notice that things are not always as they first appear to be. Since emotions are not freely communicated, you may have to become a careful observer to understand why someone is behaving in a certain manner. Still, watching one's actions is the best way to decipher what is important to them, rather than by words.
How to you begin to interpret actions? By merely noticing the activities that someone spends their time and energy on, you will be able to determine what they value. In addition, the things that someone worries about are also of great importance to them.
Regarding direct questions, you'll find that these are either deflected or receive a deceptive answer in an attempt to avoid anything that resembles conflict. Because peace is so highly valued in Chinese culture, answers are often the mask for keeping the peace. Whether this mask tries to preserve peace or keep a good relationship by always giving a response that will please the other person, you'll find that it is still a mask. Hiding your own thoughts and desires for the good of others is considered a very valuable trait in Chinese culture.
Last, since words are spoken in general terms to hide their underlying meaning, you will often feel that you need to constantly read between the lines to truly understand the other person. This type of communication is quite common. In Chinese culture, the listener discerning the true meaning is more important than the speaker clearly communicating.
How Can I Identify Underlying Motivations?
This topic was separated, although related, from the others in order to impress upon you the difference and importance. The reason why someone is speaking or behaving in a certain way will often be at a loss to you at first. Although you will learn this over time, it is important to note that hidden motivations do not necessarily mean hidden agendas. At the same time, Chinese "friends" who approach you may have a reason for doing so. The sooner you are able to discern why, the easier it will be to build trust and continue with the relationship. May these principles help you in making friends in China!
In figuring out what's the best way to make friendships in China, let's take a look at some essential principles. Some will be universal, while others will be specific to Chinese culture. As you take note of these, it will help you to find the best way to developing strong friendships while abroad.
How to Get Started
Friendliness, deference to the other person, and time commitment are key universal principles. Beginning with politeness and a warm smile can go a long way. Then, as the conversation continues, focus on the other person and how you can ask questions that will help them share their life story. Last, decide how much time and effort you are willing to devote to the relationship and take action to schedule the next time you will meet.
How to Train Your Ear
At first, several elements of Chinese culture will be hidden, but over time you will begin to notice that things are not always as they first appear to be. Since emotions are not freely communicated, you may have to become a careful observer to understand why someone is behaving in a certain manner. Still, watching one's actions is the best way to decipher what is important to them, rather than by words.
How to you begin to interpret actions? By merely noticing the activities that someone spends their time and energy on, you will be able to determine what they value. In addition, the things that someone worries about are also of great importance to them.
Regarding direct questions, you'll find that these are either deflected or receive a deceptive answer in an attempt to avoid anything that resembles conflict. Because peace is so highly valued in Chinese culture, answers are often the mask for keeping the peace. Whether this mask tries to preserve peace or keep a good relationship by always giving a response that will please the other person, you'll find that it is still a mask. Hiding your own thoughts and desires for the good of others is considered a very valuable trait in Chinese culture.
Last, since words are spoken in general terms to hide their underlying meaning, you will often feel that you need to constantly read between the lines to truly understand the other person. This type of communication is quite common. In Chinese culture, the listener discerning the true meaning is more important than the speaker clearly communicating.
How Can I Identify Underlying Motivations?
This topic was separated, although related, from the others in order to impress upon you the difference and importance. The reason why someone is speaking or behaving in a certain way will often be at a loss to you at first. Although you will learn this over time, it is important to note that hidden motivations do not necessarily mean hidden agendas. At the same time, Chinese "friends" who approach you may have a reason for doing so. The sooner you are able to discern why, the easier it will be to build trust and continue with the relationship. May these principles help you in making friends in China!
About the Author:
Hope that you have learned much about Chinese culture and will continue to do so. Come by my blog to view more about culture, characters, and the language itself.
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